In the depths of Amazonia in the gloomy swamps
That no one plays charades in, picnics, laughs, or romps
Where water snakes are commonplace,
Where anacondas slither water gurgles:
Jean the wife of Peter, friend of Mervyn, paddled in her
Raft in circles

Mervyn said he’d lived there since they closed the mine
That he found out that his wife was someones concubine
And the son that he had brought up someone else’s
And the house that he had dwelled in
Full of woodworm and the pension fund embezzled
And the horse that he had bought for stud, a gelding!

Jeanie’s woes began when she repaired a yacht
And the couple found a pack of which they should have not
A kilo of a strange white powder which they
Wrongly thought were sugar crystals
And she stuffed it in her handbag which had gangsters
Coming after them with pistols

They ran into the forest until peter put
His trotter in a beaver trap which then clamped shut
And now she cries “My husband Pete, whom
Yachting cups galore has won and merited
Lies bleating in the forest scrub from
Out of which bad hombres want him ferreted”

Merv said “we must rescue him and get there fast”
But Jean said “Merv I fear he may have breathed his last!
What horrors must await him in that
Dark and dank and soggy arboretum
With gangsters on the prowl alongside cannibals
Discussing how to eat him!”

But just right there emerged a guy with skin all bronze
Whose left hand held a knife – whose right, a severed bonce!
Husband Pete it was! Whose muscles glistened in the sun
Like Timmy Chalamet
And he lobbed the hit-man’s head to Jean like
Tossing John the Baptist’s off to Salome

Jean in turn then shied it at a coconut
Which fell onto the forest floor with quite a thud
Jean and Peter shared the milk while Mervyn
Licked the meat of the remainder
Giving Jean a happy ending though the sound
Of Mervyn’s salivations pained her

Jean then rose and said “Hey guys lets skinny dip”
And she walked unto the water and began to strip
She jumped into the water but she freaked out
When she saw some hippopotomi
And then she said with face all red
“At using common sense, I’m not that hot, am i!”

This scene of two be-suited guys + naked chick
Caused Mervyn to take up again his old paint stick
And thus his Dejeuner Sur L’herbe D’Amazonie!
Had its genesis
Tho a miffed tribe from the Amazon
Defaced the work with testicles and penises.